Pornography and the Christian Man

The ‘general’ statistics:

• 57 million Americans have Internet access.
• There were 63.4 million unique visitors to adult websites in December of 2005, reaching 37.2% of the Internet audience. In August 2005 that number was 71.9 million, reaching 42.7% of the Internet audience
• Internet users spent an average of 14.6 minutes per day viewing adult content online.
• 25 million Americans visit cyber-sex sites between 1-10 hours per week. Another 4.7 million in excess of 11 hours per week.
• 87% of university students polled have virtual sex mainly using Instant Messenger, webcam, and telephone
• Commercial pornography sites: 74% display free teaser porn images on the homepage, often porn banner ads. 66% did not include a warning of adult content. 11% included such a warning but did not have sexually explicit content on the homepage. 25% prevented users from exiting the site (mousetrapping). Only 3% required adult verification.
• 70% keep their habit a secret

Christians/Church Attendees

• In an August, 2000 survey of its readership by Christianity Today magazine, 36% of laymen responding have visited a sexually explicit Internet site, of which 44% have visited such sites “a few times” in the past year.
• In a 2000 study by Focus on the Family, 18% of people identifying themselves as Christians admitted visiting a sexually-oriented web site.
• 60% of Christian men have sought out some form of pornography.
• At one Promise Keepers event, 50% of those in attendance said they had checked out pornographic material within the past week.
• 96% of Christian males under the age of 20 masturbate regularly.
• 61% of Christian married men masturbate regularly, and 16% use pornography to stimulate themselves to masturbate.
• In a 1992 survey of 800 active church members and leaders, 15% of the men and 11% of the women admit to having been unfaithful to their spouses, and 49% had viewed pornography in the past year.
• 59% of married Christian men regularly fantasize about sexual relations with someone other than their spouse.
• 91% of men raised in Christian homes were exposed to pornography while growing up (compared to 98% of those not raised in a Christian home).
• 51% of pastors say cyber porn is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle. 4 in 10 pastors have visited a porn site.

Those are the statistics, and they tell a horrific story. Pornography and sexual impurity are insidious and permeating problems in the Church, and the last statistic demonstrates that for the most part – church leaders are not really in tune to the reality of this issue.

51% of Pastors say cyber porn is a possible temptation? Give me a flipping break!

I will grant that at least half of the Pastors in the world recognize there may be a problem, but that also tells me that half of them are either clueless, deluded, or out of touch. The deeper problem is the statistic that says that 37% say it is a current struggle… 63% of the spiritual leaders either do not recognize the severity of the issue, or choose to be blind to the issue.

Now then, before I go off on a rant about this failure of church leadership to recognize and address the dangers facing their flock, I will give all pastors a crutch to lean on:

Addressing this issue, knowing how to address this issue, and knowing how to help laity with this issue, is difficult. Many do not know how to deal with it and some are effected by it personally and do not feel suited to address it (the plank and splinter theme).

That being said, I want to give my opinion on some of the statistics I offered: They are wrong.

The main problem with this issue is secrecy. The only way a study can gather statistics of this sort is if the people polled are honest about what they do. With issues of a sexual nature, particularly those elements which are generally viewed as ‘wrong’ in the eyes of the Church, scripture, and God, the honesty level drops significantly. In light of that I assert that the numbers I posted are significantly higher for Christian/Church Attendees.

A quick bit of personal revelation:

I have struggled with sexual impurity in a variety of forms for many years. I started accessing pornography at a very young age, and continued for the majority of my life, until finally it almost destroyed my marriage. The amazing thing is that never once did anyone, in the variety of churches I’ve attended over the years, address the topic of sexual impurity or pornography. Not only was it never really a topic of discussion, I was never given the opportunity to broach the issue, nor was I ever placed in a position where I felt comfortable to broach the subject.

This is why I used the word ‘insidious’ in connection with the problem of pornography and sexual impurity. It is a taboo issue for the most part; upstanding people don’t talk about it because they shouldn’t be involved in it. It is not a thing we talk about in Sunday school, from the pulpit, in Bible Study groups, or anywhere in a church setting – that is simply wrong, and it must be changed.

This issue isn’t about a guy clicking on an adult website once in a while; it is concerning something far deeper in the spiritual lives of all who engage in it. There is a song called ‘God sized hole’ which says that there is a God sized hole in everyone. The problem with that hole is that we have a need to fill it or try to fill it. That hole doesn’t just go away because someone is attending church. It doesn’t just go away because someone confesses acceptance of Christ, and because it doesn’t just ‘go away’ it niggles at the individual and they attempt to fill it.

Pastors can often see this effect in some of their flock because people often try to fill that hole with material things; cars, big homes, lots of activities, drugs/alcohol, etc. But the pastor cannot see the Deacon on the internet at night, surfing through porn websites, or cruising through the adult bookstore downtown – the pastor cannot see it, but it happens far too often.

Once during a small group bible study our group broke up into separate groups (men and women) to work on a gender related aspect of the study. The guys gathered around the table and discussed the study and soon broke off into an enlightening and healthy discussion of issues facing men. I went out on a limb and introduced the subject of pornography use and was amazed to see the rapt attention of the 5 guys sitting with me. Being the youngest of the group I was hesitant at first, but soon realized that I was not the only one sitting at that table that had questions, or concerns, about this subject. Thankfully I had just finished a course offered by Setting Captives Free which had helped me tremendously to break free from the chains of my enslavement to pornography, so I was well prepared to discuss the issue candidly and honestly.

This is what has got to happen in every church in America, nay… in the world. Pastors, and anyone in spiritual leadership in the local congregation, whether it is the Youth Pastor, or the Men’s Ministry coordinator/leader, have to find a way to address the subject with their flocks. They must do so frankly, with compassion, with a heart to help and heal, and with complete transparency. If the pastor struggles with the issue himself – then he must offer that confession to the men. For only through complete honesty can the healing begin.

If the pastor fears that his confession, or revealing of personal/spiritual shortcomings, places him in a position where he may lose his job or the respect of his flock – well then that pastor should pack his bags and leave outright. If he cannot be human, he cannot lead. If he cannot struggle with sin and work to overcome it and make that known to his advisory counsel and maintain his respect and/or position, then he is not in the right place and he is not doing the job God called him to do, the way God intended him to do it.

So here is my call to all leaders of all congregations: Educate yourselves on the subject of sexual impurity, pornography, and vice. Build yourself up in Christ through prayer, self-reflection, and personal honesty. Recognize that there is a problem in your congregation whether you know about it or not, and find a way to address the issue and bring healing to so many men (people) suffering through crisis’s of faith and a battle with a seemingly unconquerable foe.

To this end I offer you two resources:

Proven Men

Setting Captives Free