JP’s Mind

The mood is upon me.
Fighting its grasp,
is mere futility;
feeding its thirst,
by my very throes.
Jealousy, gloom, bitterness
swirling in my head,
dizzying me deliciously.
An occasional focus,
to allow a cobra strike,
and relishing the sting,
I’ve visited upon you.
Your words are meaningless,
your assertions useless.
No one can stand,
against me now.

Because the mood is upon me.

Hateful, spiteful assaults,
my locquacious daggers
dropping you, lifeless,
and I gloat sadly
over my fallen prey.
Subjugation of spite,
to allow brief light,
golden, shimmering light,
to touch my mind.
Only to wrap itself
inside, safely away.

For the mood is upon me.

Stolen thoughts of joy,
replaced by dreams.
Bloody in their vehemence,
the slaughter of innocence,
the destruction of youth,
the feel of my hand,
gripping your slowing heart,
in its icy metal clutch.
Smiling, eye to eye,
I squeeze the essence,
from your paling soul,
for no reason other than,
the mood is upon me.

I’m building things,
in which you don’t believe.
Castles in the air,
floating on heart songs,
that remain unsung.
My hands molding statues,
of me’s that will not be.
Sculptures of my dreams,
undreamt and dismissed,
in fear of your laughter.
I’m building fantasies,
on hopes and wishes,
solidly set on sandy dune,
waiting for onslaught of tide.
Vision’s denial to give ground,
to today’s battle for purchase.
Fantasy’s strength shall outlive,
reality’s blustery strike.

The glory of the world,
washes over my well-worn body.
The magnificence of creation,
the total harmony of nature,
the absolute certainty provided,
by the knowledge of life’s continuance,
rages through my soul.

The brilliance of love,
flashes in my sorrow filled mind.
The gentleness of sweet lovemaking,
the urgency felt in passion’s thrust,
the sweet release in climactic lust,
dream states induced afterglow,
ease through my heart.

The glory of the world,
touches magic upon my dying flame.
Flashes of sunlight in the morn,
flickers of flame in campfire night,
tendrils of melody in child’s song,
essence of harmony in lover’s laugh,
bathe my dirty, well-used mind.

The beauty of this world,
comes to me in many ways.
Fathomless, unrelenting ways,
only to look, to feel, to see,
only to open myself, to be me,
only to allow you, a love to be,
to touch me and make me whole.

I remember sunny days.

Rolling down the snowscaped dunes

of the White Sands desert

I remember sunny days.

Squirreling through bamboo tunnels

and exploring the caves of Okinawa.

I remember sunny days.

Flying kites in the brisk breeze

coming off the Colorado Rockies.

I remember sunny days.

Careening through the woods

and fields of the Georgia wilds.

I remember sunny days.

Pitching bales and picking cotton

in central valley California.

I remember sunny days.

Riding horses and catching catfish

in sweltering Oklahoma dog days.

I remember sunny days.

Watching TV to escape the death

of oppressive Kentucky dew.

I remember sunny days.

The glorious respite from the

dreary Northwestern rain.

I remember sunny days

The plumeria scented air

of Hawaiian bliss.

I remember sunny days.

Digging in and keeping watch

in middle eastern sands.

I remember sunny days.

Watering and weeding

iI the old timer garden.

I remember sunny days.

Gentle thoughts of life

Lived and gone by.

This was passed on to me, I wanted to pass it on to you:

A guy named Bradley Hathaway (who I’ve never met) wrote this poem, about a hug from God…I heard it read at a church ski retreat.

I read about how you touched them and they were h+e+a+l+e+d
Or even if someone just touched your cloak they were forever changed
You let a broken women bathe your feet in her tears
And you washed your best friend’s feet
I am just wondering though did you just ever hug people?

I mean I know that it is a silly question and all I am sure you would have why wouldn’t you
But its one of those things that was never mentioned that got me thinking about it

And how whenever there was a touch from you sins were forgiven and sickness fell
I think I’m caught up in my sins last time I checked all my body parts were properly working, nothing special here
I am just a kid with a heavy heart these passing sunrises and sunsets

I don’t think our encounter would have ended up in the gospels or anything
Because all I really need is a hug
That is ok for me to imagine right
That’s not going to be conflicting with any sort of theology is it
Ok good, then hug me

But not one of these side ways one arm around the neck type hugs
Or the gHeTtO right hand clasp fists elbows to chest pit pat on the back back
Or you put your right arm over my right arm and I put my left arm over your left arm and we make this weird sort of diagonal thing
Nah none of those

BEAR HUG ME MAN
Take your old school carpenter arms and throw them over my upper body leaving my arms dangling underneath yours somewhere and I can barely move them because your squeezing so hard
But don’t pick me up and make my back pop because I hate it when people do that

And hold me, hold me here in your arms until I start to cry because
I WANT TO CRY
But I just can’t seem to do it on my own
I have been teary eyed once recently but not even enough for a drip down my cheek
Theres just hurt in my soul that needs to be purged so hold me in this hold pose until the pain is flowing from my eyes and nose