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A Father’s Job June 18, 2017

Posted by JP in Parenting, Uncategorized.
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My wife and I raised 3 children together, while we have not always been successful at being parents (we all have our weak points and occasionally fall short of our goals – after all we’re only human) we have for the most part succeeded in raising 3 healthy, happy, productive and loving children.  So what I will share with you here is not coming from a parental “educator”, it is the hard won knowledge of a father with 70+ year experience raising children.

As father’s it is our job, our God-given duty, role, responsibility and ultimately, our loving pleasure and privilege to embody and demonstrate the following traits for our children:

Person of Refuge

Dad’s we are the person in our children’s lives that they think of when they need protection. We are the person they will run to for refuge. That means we have to always be available to our children, the safe haven they can quickly, freely and naturally come to for protection and rest. As a place of refuge, we need to reflect to our children that we are a secure place for them and not a place of scolding or threats.

Protector

This role encompasses our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual protection. As children we particularly need protection, and we need to have our values, purities, and our honor protected into adulthood. A father not only protects his children from harm, but protects their hearts and minds as well. (2 Thess. 3:3)

Provider

This is perhaps one of our more instinctual roles of a father. A father initially provides necessities. He also creates an environment for growth through love and encouragement. We look to our fathers to provide for us what we may not be able to provide for ourselves while teaching us how to eventually become independent. (Genesis 22:14)

Friend and Supporter

Being a friend to our kids doesn’t mean that you are a party buddy! It is said that a child learns how to interact with others on the lap of a father. We seek a sort of friendship with our father that teaches us what friendship is. A healthy friendship with a father gives us boundaries and helps us understand what is safe and what is not. (John 15:15) You need to always be available for your kids, listen to their delights and their problems. You must consistently be there when they need you, to be filled with unfailing love, mercy, compassion and slow to anger. Children today face so many more difficulties in life than 30-40 years ago. What tears children down is being overwhelmed with problems, hardships and life’s trials with no one there to support them. Fathers need to be someone who can provide strength and support, that person they can rest and rely on, as they grow in every area of life.

Counselor – A father is a guide. He directs his children toward the path in life that promises to fit them best. A father who has his child’s best interest in mind will gain the trust of his child as a counselor. This where the “sacred no” and the “sacred yes” come in. (Is 9:6)

Companion and Counselor

There are too many kids in the world today that rarely if ever hear a word of encouragement or affirmation. Fathers, it is so important that we communicate with our children. You need to continually encourage them, let your kids know that they measure up, that you are proud of them and their accomplishments. Let them know that you have a special place in your heart for them. Tell them again and again how great they are.  A father is a guide. He directs his children toward the path in life that promises to fit them best. A father who has his child’s best interest in mind will gain the trust of his child as a counselor. This where the “sacred no” and the “sacred yes” come in. (Is 9:6)

Forgiving

Dad’s don’t hold grudges and are quick to forgive their kids. Growing up for kids today is challenging and if we are honest with ourselves, when we were growing up we had our moments. We made mistakes, we had our bad days where we were downright mischievous, we rebelled against our parents.

Fathers need to be patient when our kids do something wrong. We don’t hold grudges or hold past mistakes over their heads. Now this doesn’t mean we are indifferent or passive, but great fathers will instill wisdom in our children through love, not anger or rudeness and not criticism or harshness.

Trustworthy

One of the earliest thing children learn growing up is whether they can trust those who care for them. Fathers need to commit themselves to being consistently trustworthy in the lives of our children. This is the foundation in providing our children with a stable environment. Our children should always be able to rely on Dad to be dependable, truthful and consistent.

Life Teacher

Not withstanding the roles clarified above, as Father’s we are “Life Teachers”. We have a responsibility to educate our children in the things that make daily life bearable for those around us (those who live, play, and work with us) things like:

Using magic words such as hello, please, you’re welcome, I’m sorry, and thank you.

Being honest, being on time, being diligent, showing friends their sympathy, as well as showing utmost respect for their elders and all teachers.

Manners and cleanliness:  being clean, not talking with their mouths full, and how/where to properly dispose of garbage, being organized, taking good care of their belongings, and that it’s not okay to touch others without permission.

Being honest, you do not have a right to something just because you want it. If it is not yours, don’t touch it.

Fatherhood is not to be taken lightly. It is the most challenging, difficult, exhausting, but, by far, the most rewarding role a man can take on.

Fatherhood takes work, it takes training and education, it takes many hours of labor just to get the basics done right. This job, Fatherhood, is a contract position and the term of the contract is in fact: forever.

The job you do, as a Father, will have effects on the health and welfare on your immediate family and all those they encounter on a daily basis. It will have an effect on your children’s children and all those they encounter on a daily basis, and will have an effect on society for generations to come.

 

 

 

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